It’s not because I don’t care… and like a friend of mine, I realize that it’s way annoying to go to a blog every day (which I know there are millions of you that just WAIT for me to write something new right?) and see the same old thing!
I have two weeks left of school before summer. As of right now I’m flunking abnormal psych which is enough to make me want to throw up most of the time. I went to class, I read the material, I took notes, and nothing seemed to help me. FINALLY this week I think I’ve cracked the professor’s code… RESEARCH… he loves research and the bulk of his questions are about research even though the bulk of the material is about the actual disorders and whatnot. So now I’ve been sitting in class and trying to write everything he says thinking that this MUST be the way to pass his tests. LOL, we shall see… either way, I’m taking it this summer because even though he has had to lower the curve by two whole grades, a C in this class will just not cut it for grad school.
I’m also nearing the end of my 4 year degree and I’m scared to death. There is so much I have to do, plus, I have to take the GRE and apply for grad school! I’m not sure whether I should take an extra semester and get my aging certificate which would give me an internship and a nice cushion on my resume, or if I should just get done and hope that I get into grad school. Either way, I’m scared… the idea of either being out in the work force or graduate school is equally frightening lol!
My daughter turns 5 in less than a month. This is my little girl, my teeny girl who at a year old still fit into most of her 3-6 month clothing. This is no longer an issue, she is quite grown up now and totally excited about kindergarten, but I’m just not ready to let go of my baby yet. Every day it gets harder and harder to imagine adding more children to our family, but there is just a huge part of me that feels like our family is incomplete. Which just means… more of the same… waiting and seeing… wondering if things will change. I’m not making much sense, but trust me, in my head I’m totally with it. Anyway… Audrey, will be 5 and it feels like I just had her. I remember looking at her in her little oxygen hood when she was born, I remember her cute little Shrek ears when she was 5 months old, and I remember the first time she walked across the room to me! I can’t believe she can now count to 30 and name all the letters of the alphabet! It’s insane and I think that I will be a HUGE mess when I take her to kindergarten this year… perhaps I’ll avoid it and make her dad take her. I’m getting teary right now lol!
It just stinks to get old. I wish I could stop time and take a breather, but life just isn’t like that right? It’s so weird when you think about it… we have days where we think,” I just have to make it through this day and tomorrow will be better” all the while not really thinking about how we are LOSING that day. It will be gone and we don’t get it back! When I actually sit down and realize this, it is so depressing! I just need to appreciate every day with my kids because I know too soon they will hate me and not want to spend any time with me. In fact, I’m going to snuggle with them right now!
Kate
i like the new look! and a really long post! woohoo!
you are so awesome. i hope you know how proud i am of you for all that you have and are accomplishing. i think your aging cert, may be a good idea (resume purposes mostly) but you know what you need to do (i don’t have to say it do i? ok, i will… pray about it) and just have faith. grad school! wow. i’m still crossing fingers and toes you are out here, but that is just selfish, i know.
and what is up with psych professors who lecture off the course material. i hate that. but what i hate worse is if they lecture off the material but test on course material. it’s sort of like, “why do i even take notes in your class???” and cut yourself some slack. the fact that he has had to loswer the curve THAT much… yeah, that should say something to you. i say don’t stress since you know you are retaking it. it’ll just hit the gpa for one semester. not like it can’t withstand it a bit since you have such awesome grades. am i helping? probably not, sorry.
ok, long comment, sorry. we just need to talk on the phone about all this stuff. hmm… i’m calling you this week. im/email me and let me know good times for you.
(((hugs)))