I continue to be blessed in many ways and know many things, but still struggle. Why is that? It is so terribly frustrating to feel like you generally just want to hide under the covers and forget you exist. And yet, to put it out here… knowing it will be read. You, yeah, you… reading my blog right now… do you know the answer? Do you know how to erase fear and just live? How do you harness all of your faith to bolster you at a time when things are not too bad, knowing that a time when things will be far worse will come… I would love to know.
well if you find out, please tell me. i want to know as well.
Ok, you know I don’t know all the Laman & Lemuel meanings but, seriously, you need to talk to me. What’s up?
First,
read the lyrics to Deep Water by Jewel and see if that proves cathardic.
Second, I may be way off base here and you could be touching on something that’s completely outside of my understanding (which you probably are).
If, however, I am to offer anything….sailing it out there to possibly be drawn in by the wide net you have cast…
Sometimes, when you’re drowning…and you fight the process of drowning…you get exhausted and want to give up the fight…you stop the struggle and realize–you’re floating.
You didn’t really need to fight all along…or maybe you did at first…or you did from time to time…but you don’t know when those times were…. and it’s likely you haven’t had to fight for a while…but you got “stuck on survive” and forgot to check to see if the flow would carry you.
Lehi said to his son: Oh that thou mayest be like this river, continually running towards the fountain of all righteousness.
But that doesn’t mean splashing frantically towards “the fountain of righteousnessâ€â€¦or forcefully swimming…when the current will carry you…
FOOTPRINTS
“My [daughter], my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you.”
No, Kate—I don’t know how to erase fear and just live…at the risk of making this comment WAY (x10) too long….FAITH is moving forward in the face of fear, knowing that fear is a creation of the flesh and that which we put our faith in transcends our fear to lead us in the right direction—always. Without fail.
Lastly, Kate. I am no sage…I can only say what comes from my heart…and I firmly believe– To take pause, to ask questions…to feel afraid and alone…and to stand in the nakedness of our humanity, in the vulnerability of mortality…is a form of worship. I believe you honor God by the acknowledgment of your fallibility, by questioning and reaffirming your faith or aspects of it (not that you are…but if you were) throughout your life you ensure that you do not blindly follow, but follow from the true belief, belief from the core of you…the most pure form of faithfulness.
Daily Thought. . .
“All our losses and sufferings will be made up to us in the resurrection.”
—Bruce R. McConkie (Ensign, November 1976, p. 108.)
Also
Conflict, frustration, affliction, and misunderstanding are normal aspects of the mortal world. Speaking through Lehi, the Lord instructed us that “it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things.” (2 Nephi 2:11.) In mortality, opposition is present and makes possible choice and the exercise of agency.
From
“Managing Conflict”
by James T. Duke and J. Lynn England, Counseling: A Guide to Helping Others, vol. 1, 81-95.
Wow. I cannot offer anything so scriptural or enlightened as Jessica and Josh, but just know that we all love you and would never let anything truley wretched befall you. To steal a line from several of Mipper’s earliest posts: (((HUGS!!!))) It’s okay to allow yourself a moment of feeling weak, but try not to live there–though the trees may be quite lovely, the wildlife will bring you down. You are an amazing person, Kate, and there is nothing that you and God (and I) together can’t struggle victoriously through! “You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it! People like you!”
Bridge Over Troubled Water
~ Simon & Garfunkel
by Paul Simon
When you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I’m on your side. When times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
When you’re down and out,
When you’re on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I’ll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pain is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
hey Becca is totally stealing my stuff! maaaannnn… i need a new catch.
Gosh, I haven’t talked to you in so long that I have forgotten what you are specifically studying. So what are you studying right now? And what are you going to be studying in grad school and where? Are you going to have to move? Are you going to commute? When do you move on to grad school? See you soon.
Sorry, I know that my last comment was really off topic. I just like you and I am insatiably curious. I’m also crazy. All I know is that I feel the way that you are feeling on occasion and it is because I am not balanced in something. I haven’t given myself enough emotional time(often time to myself-as if you can find that), I’m not keeping up on everything spiritually, I’m not being productive enough in work or school or home or playing with Eva, I haven’t given myself enough intellectual time(I am a tv junkie and sometimes I need to broaden my mind with good literature or some kind of nonfiction or anything that makes me start thinking outside of myself again). It’s hard to move past the normal, dreary feelings; I usually just pray for help and then make myself do something different than I am doing.
Love you
I love you Kate. I just wanted you to know that.
(And not in the way George Clooney loves you…)